I'm so glad I'm finally doing this! I guess I should start with a little introduction of myself?
As you can read in my description, I'm twenty years young, go to the University of Oregon in Eugene, and I'm currently a Pre-Journalism-Communication Studies major. I listen to just about every type of music, love cats, am addicted to caffeine, and enjoy long walks on the beach. Blah, blah, blah..... I know you don't wanna hear me talk about my likes and dislikes. Let's get to the real stuff, the reason I started this blog, perhaps?
I strongly believe that these next couple of years will be some of the most important ones in my life, as well as the past year. A turning point, I guess you could say. I've been dealing with some depression and anxiety on and off all throughout my twenty years. When you're depressed, all you can see in your life are the negatives. But, there was something I heard not too long ago, (I think one of my teachers said it,) but it goes a little something like, "you can make any story seem happy if you only mention the exciting parts, or sad if you only mention the tragic parts." It was said in a different context but I think this is a good way to look at one's happiness. If all you think about, talk about, or see are the negatives of your life, then sure, your life is pretty shitty. But, on the other hand, if all you see is the positives, then your life is great! The truth is, however, that they're both there. Nothing is intrinsically bad or good. This is not a Shakespearean play. This is life. And it all depends on your perspective. Ultimately, your happiness is up to you.
But who am I to say all this? Just a silly twenty year old girl acting like she knows about life and happiness, right? It's easier said than done. I'm aware of this. And that's why I'm writing this today. I have been struggling for the past year, trying so hard to get out of this mode of thinking. I'm too young for this and frankly I'm fed up. It has ruined friendships, relationships, my motivation, basically everything in my life has been negatively affected by my seemingly hopeless pessimism. I became too tired of putting on a front and pretty soon I was left all alone wondering what the point was anymore. And then I remembered a time when I was truly happy. I want that back again more than anything, and I'm ready to work for it.
But it's not going to come overnight. It takes time and hard work. This blog will hopefully allow me to look at my past with a more accepting and positive outlook, and allow myself to understand the lessons that they have taught me, (I'm a strong believer in the philosophy that everything happens for a reason.) With enough effort, I will be able to look at life in a more positive light presently and in the future, and hopefully be able to share this outlook with everyone else. :)